The cat! Yes, they are definitely a little shocking. But my mom's facility has a couple already, so I'm hopeful that if I decide to bring it to her, they won't be too shocked by it. My mom was a 'go with the flow' person provided you didn't actually ask her to do anything she didn't want to do. The first move was a very long time coming because she fought me every step of the way. It was terrible. My advice for all the older folks I know is to make your own choices while they are still yours to make. If you don't, they will be made for you. And, in the process, you may damage the relationships you value most.
That is exactly the point Tara! Making choices while they are yours to make. The biggest thing I wish we had done differently is to have made those conversations happen. They are hard and awkward but way better than avoiding them until it is too late. As for the cat… I hope you bring her one! They make a big difference for a lot of people and are entertaining if nothing else.
I enjoyed reading about Nina's journey in her new residency, and how she was able to not just "survive" in such a setting, but genuinely seem to do well and enjoy it. Knowing that, I wonder if your feelings (your "bratty" feelings, as you say!) could be soothed somewhat? I get that it's not easy though- placing a loved one in a home and feeling like "you failed" somehow. My mom walked through this process with her mother, and it was tough to watch.
Thanks for reading Niki! For sure those bratty feelings eased along the way. It was part of a process of accepting there were some things you just cannot change. There were a lot of times I had to remind myself to “stand down” and let things happen because, a: perspective was just one view of the whole picture; and b: nothing is perfect!
The cat! Yes, they are definitely a little shocking. But my mom's facility has a couple already, so I'm hopeful that if I decide to bring it to her, they won't be too shocked by it. My mom was a 'go with the flow' person provided you didn't actually ask her to do anything she didn't want to do. The first move was a very long time coming because she fought me every step of the way. It was terrible. My advice for all the older folks I know is to make your own choices while they are still yours to make. If you don't, they will be made for you. And, in the process, you may damage the relationships you value most.
That is exactly the point Tara! Making choices while they are yours to make. The biggest thing I wish we had done differently is to have made those conversations happen. They are hard and awkward but way better than avoiding them until it is too late. As for the cat… I hope you bring her one! They make a big difference for a lot of people and are entertaining if nothing else.
I enjoyed reading about Nina's journey in her new residency, and how she was able to not just "survive" in such a setting, but genuinely seem to do well and enjoy it. Knowing that, I wonder if your feelings (your "bratty" feelings, as you say!) could be soothed somewhat? I get that it's not easy though- placing a loved one in a home and feeling like "you failed" somehow. My mom walked through this process with her mother, and it was tough to watch.
Thanks for reading Niki! For sure those bratty feelings eased along the way. It was part of a process of accepting there were some things you just cannot change. There were a lot of times I had to remind myself to “stand down” and let things happen because, a: perspective was just one view of the whole picture; and b: nothing is perfect!
That's some great adaptation and growth :) indeed, nothing is perfect! And, I'm glad to hear that some of the angst receded for you. ❤️
My maturity is a work in progress